I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
