worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
No more Irish car bombs ever.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
