If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
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