I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
