I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
