oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Randomize
