I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
