Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize