why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Randomize
