He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
