everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
