But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
