he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
