Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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