All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
never play flip cup with pint glasses
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Randomize
