your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
