Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
