I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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