Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
