Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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