i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I think a kid would responsible me up
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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