If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
please come you make the beer taste better
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
