Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
