the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
