never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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