K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Randomize
