don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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