Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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