I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I'm bleeding and have questions
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
