tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
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