Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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