My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
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