How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
