she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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