You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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