I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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