Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize