I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
