We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
