wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
