im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
