Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
