Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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