I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
