is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize