lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
