ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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