I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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