I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Randomize
