So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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