would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
