Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Randomize
