I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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