I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
