Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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